What To Do After A Job Interview

So, apparently the last bar I was in last night after a job interview I had earlier in the day, the bartender wasn’t quite fond of me and had my friends and I kicked out. This may or may not be because I kept pouring my beer into an annoying, nasally, Long Island-esq voiced girl’s bag repeatedly. This was then followed up with me just shoving as many bottles into it as I could before it started to look obvious (read that as that there were bottles sticking out of the top of her bag before I walked away). Also, when I say “may or may not”, I mean yes, that was definitely the reason why we got kicked out. The bartender was screaming, claiming they had it all on surveillance camera. Whatever. I got my free shots out of her before any of this went down.

Lesson of the night? Don’t fucking put play it now on the jukebox with your loser music. No one grown man wants to hear Justin Beiber played at a fucking bar. Girl is lucky I didn’t piss in her bag or something. The other lesson? Drinking excessive amounts of Rumple Minze gets me “Carnage Drunk”. Yea, that’s right, I just coined a new term. Love it, bitches.

- heartshapedtaco, Staff

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